


I Am What I Am

by NeonDreams



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Coming Out, Genderfluid Eggsy, Homophobia, M/M, Self-Discovery, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5639755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDreams/pseuds/NeonDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy first realized they were different when they were about twelve years old.  They had been sitting on their mom's bed while she got ready for a date with Dean.  Michelle was putting on her earrings and fixing her dress and Eggsy wanted to look like her.  They wanted to wear pretty dresses and heels and makeup.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A Genderfluid Eggsy fic.</p>
<p>(Note: This fic ends at chapter two.  I will not be updating it.  Explanation in chapter 3.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Kingsman fanfic and the first fanfic I've written in a long time. So go easy on me!  
> In this, Eggsy goes by they pronouns since he or she didn't feel right. I am genderfluid myself so some of Eggsy's feelings are my own feelings.  
> This is unbeta'd because I wanted to get it out there as quickly as possible.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> Tags will be added as I write.

Eggsy first realized they were different when they were about twelve years old. They had been sitting on their mom's bed while she got ready for a date with Dean. Michelle was putting on her earrings and fixing her dress and Eggsy wanted to look like her. They wanted to wear pretty dresses and heels and makeup but they knew they couldn't. Michelle's boyfriend, Dean, was an alpha male type and hated when Eggsy did anything he deemed wrong. That's why Eggsy never expressed their bisexuality and just talked about girls.

Eggsy didn't actually learn about what they were until a few years later when they used a library computer. Genderfluid. Eggsy was that alright. Some days they felt like a boy and some days they felt like a girl. They had to suppress those feeling though to keep Dean happy. They wore the jeans, polo shirts and snapbacks every boy in the estates wore.

As they got older, things got worse with Dean. They had little choice but to do what he said so that Michelle and Daisy were safe. Then they got arrested and met Harry Hart. The next few months were a blur. Training to be a Kingsman (everyone having to wear the same coveralls made Eggsy feel a little at ease), screwing up the dog test, Harry dying, V-Day. Looking back at it, Eggsy didn't know how they did it.

Then they got Michelle and Daisy out from under Dean's thumb and they all moved into a new house, not far from Harry's abandoned one. Eggsy's life fell into a routine. Go to work, be a spy. They lied to Michelle when they had missions, saying it was just business trips. Michelle figured it out when Eggsy came home one too many times with a bruised face and bloody knuckles like when they use to get into fights in the estates. She wasn't stupid, she figured it out. It was better for Eggsy because now they didn't have to lie so much to her.

Eggsy still wasn't completely happy and Michelle knew it. They were always tense then they came home, even on days when they had only been at HQ all day. Michelle sat Eggsy down one day and gently asked them what was wrong. They waved it off as work stress but adventually she worked it out of them. She listened to them explain it, saying that they weren't mad at her for having to hide it. But they still felt uneasy about expressing themselves that way. Sure Roxy was there to help change things at Kingsman but to come out as genderfluid? No one really talked about that kind of thing there. They rarely spoke about their personal lives. Eggsy knew that a few of the agents were married, one had kids. Being gay or bisexual or any of that was okay, especially now that Chester King was gone. Different genders however, was something new.

Michelle convinced Eggsy to take things slow. Ease into it. Home was a safe place for them and she wanted nothing more then for them to feel comfortable and at ease there. So Eggsy started off slow. They bought silky panties and matching bras to wear under their clothes. Even their suits. Then they started to wear floral printed pocket squares and ties. They didn't care if their clashed, but since all of their suits were neutral colors it was fine. The others thought Eggsy was just having a laugh but when they kept up with it for weeks, they just accepted it. Roxy asked about it one day and Eggsy told her the truth. She was very accepting and it made Eggsy happy.

At home, they started to wear more 'girly' clothes. Eggsy loved floral print dresses and wore them a lot. As it got colder, they wore leggings, soft jumpers and cardigans too. Michelle was happy to see her child so happy and comfortable. That was all she wanted for them.

They found out Harry was alive shortly after V-Day. He had been at a hospital in Kentucky recovering and came home a few months later. He came back to work almost a year later, becoming the new Arthur. When Michelle found out Harry was back at work, it was the same time she noticed that Eggsy was tense again and had stopped wearing their favorite ties to work. They had even stopped wearing dresses and skirts at home, going back to trackies. She wondered what Harry could have said or done to make Eggsy so upset and closed off. They wouldn't talk to her about it and even Roxy was worried. They just wanted Eggsy to be happy again.

 

Harry had no idea what was going on with Eggsy. He thought everything was fine, that's how well Eggsy hid their problems from Harry. He never saw their floral ties or how they were around HQ. Just how they were now, a seemingly posed gentleman when really they were stressed out all the time.  
Michelle got Eggsy to start wearing whatever they wanted around the house again. This seemed to help, Eggsy was able to relax after work. Whether it was trackies or dresses, sometimes a mix of t-shirts and skirts. Being able to express themselves however they wanted.

At Kingsman they were unhappy though. They couldn't bring themselves to wear the floral ties anymore. Harry thought of Eggsy a certain way and they didn't want to disappoint him.

"Eggsy my boy." Eggsy cringed and looked up, seeing Harry coming towards them.

"Yeah Harry?" They sent down their pen. they were in the middle of writing up a mission report.

"I was hoping you could help me with something. I hear it's Roxy's birthday soon and I need your opinion. You're her best friend, I figured you're the best person to ask."

Eggsy listened to Harry and helped him but they were tense, they were always tense. Eggsy had realized they loved Harry shortly after he died. They never had the guts to tell him and now Harry was their boss. They couldn't. Maybe that was part of it. Eggsy loved Harry and wanted him to feel the same way so they pretended to be someone they weren't to make Harry happy. Harry was a gentleman, he would never want someone like Eggsy.

It was a cold Tuesday evening. Eggsy had the day off and was currently curled up on the couch, Daisy sitting next to them. A cartoon was playing on the TV and Daisy was coloring in a coloring book. Eggsy was wearing cotton dress with leggings and a soft jumper over it. They smiled at Daisy when she showed them her drawing. "Very good." They kissed her head. The doorbell rang and Michelle said she'd get it.

Harry Hart stood in the doorway. "Sorry to bother you so late Michelle but I needed to speak to Eggsy about a recent case of his and he's not answering my calls."

"The glasses must be upstairs... they're in the living room." She was so shocked to see him there that she didn't register Harry's 'thank you' or that he stepped inside, heading straight for the living room. It was too late to warn Eggsy before Harry saw him.

"Eggsy, I was wondering-" He stopped short. Eggsy looked up at the sound of their name and jumped to their feet. Harry took in Eggsy's clothes but said nothing. Eggsy stared back at him and gulped. They could feel panic rising up in their chest as Harry continued not to speak. They walked nothing more then to run so they did just that, bolting from the room and running upstairs, slamming and locking the door.

Harry blinked as Michelle went to pick up a fussing Daisy, upset that Eggsy ran out. She bounced the girl on her hip. "Please sit down Harry." She said, doing just that herself. Harry sat, still a bit dazed. "I believe you need to know a few things about Eggsy."

"I don't understand." Harry wasn't unintelligent. He was gay himself and very active in the LGBT+ community in London. But he was older and not up to date with all of the new sexualities and genders that had cropped up in the last ten years of so. He looked at Michelle. "Is he-"

"They. Eggsy uses they pronouns." Harry blinked. "Not everything is black and white Mr. Hart." She smiled slightly, a shadow of Eggsy's own smirk there. "They're going to kill me for telling you but, Eggsy is genderfluid." She dived in and explained how Eggsy had known since a young age but had to hide it because of Dean and herself on occasion. She was clearly upset about them having been so unhappy for so long. "Moving here, getting away from Dean, Eggsy has been able to blossom into the person they are today. They're comfortable in their own skin and had even been able to have a touch of that at Kingsman. Until you returned to work. I don't know kind of cis bullshit you might have said around them-" She started to threaten but Harry cut her off.

"I would never do such a thing. I don't know why he- sorry, they feels that they can't express themselves around me but I assure you, I would never kick them out or whatever they might think I'll do if I knew. I was just shocked, having not expected it. Eggsy always seemed at ease at HQ."

"They're good at pretending." She said softly, her eyes on the carpet but distant. "You should talk to them." Harry started to stand. "Tomorrow. Eggsy's clearly upset and they need time to calm down." She stood and showed him to the door.

"I truly am sorry for whatever I did to upset them." Harry left.

Michelle went up to Eggsy's room and knocked on the door. "He's gone."

"Did he fire me?"

"No sweetheart, he didn't fire you." She sighed softly. "Try to get some sleep. I love you."

"Love you too." They mumbled through the door.

Eggsy was nervous about going into work the next day. Michelle helped them dress, picking out a dark grey suit and one of their floral ties. She made sure it was straight before kissing their cheek. "He's not mad baby, remember that." Eggsy nodded. the walk to the tailor shop went back so quickly. They went down to the bullet train, their heart racing. Eggsy almost went back home but then Merlin saw them. "Good morning Eggsy."

"Mornin' Merlin." They replied, stepping off the train. they fixed their suit and headed upstairs to the mansion. Harry's office was on the second floor of the mansion with a view of the grounds. Eggsy knocked on the door and waited for Harry to invite him in. "Good morning, sir." Eggsy said in his best posh accent. Harry looked up.

"Eggsy." He said softly. "Please close the door and have a seat." Eggsy did as he asked. "I wanted to apologize for last night."

"What-"

"Please let me finish. I reacted poorly and I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was expecting to find." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I upset you and I want you to know that you have nothing to fear. You can express yourself however you want, even here." He paused. "I like your tie."

Eggsy blushed and looked down at it. "Thank you sir." they said softly.

Harry smiled. "That brings me to my next topic." Eggsy looked up at him. "Your mother told me you prefer the gender neutral pronoun of they." Eggsy nodded. "What about titles?"

"Titles?"

"Instead of Mr. and sir, what should I use?"

"Oh, I never thought about that before. No one ever called me that until now." Harry nodded.

"I had a feeling so I did some research last night." He handed them a piece of paper. "These are a list of gender neutral titles you can use. Take a look." He smiled softly. Eggsy looked down at the list, their eyebrows raising. Some of them seemed strange to them. From 'Ind' to 'Misc' and 'Sai'. Eggsy looked them over along with the pronunciation and history of the words and settled on one.

"I like Mx." It sounded strange on the tongue, saying 'mix' as a title. Harry nodded.

"Very well, Mx it is. I'll alert the agents and staff of the change."

"What, no. No I don't want them to know."

"I'm sorry?" Harry frowned.

"I mean, I'm not ready to come out yet." Harry knew what it was like, trying to come out as gay to his uptight parents.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable here though. If we don't tell them, they'll continue to call you sir. I want you to be at ease here."

Eggsy nodded and sighed. "Alright but I want to do it."

"Of course Eggsy."

A few days later, Harry called for a meeting of all the agents. Eggsy was sitting in his Galahad seat on Harry's right, Roxy seated two down on the other side. She gave Eggsy a reassuring smile and Percival nodded to them. Those who couldn't make it were commed in through the glass. Harry, as Arthur, stood up. "Thank you all for coming. Just to assure you, no one has died and the world isn't going to shit." A few of them chuckled. "No, this actually has to do with Agent Galahad." He nodded to Eggsy and sat back down. Eggsy stood.

"Thank you Arthur." They looked at everyone. "I'm sure you've all noticed my love of floral ties." They smoothed it down their chest. "It's not just a fashion statement, it has become a way to express myself while here. Most of you probably assume I'm a guy and you have every right to. I never said otherwise and I do look the part." They took a deep breath. "But I'm not. Not all the time. I'm genderfluid which names sometimes I feel like a guy, sometimes I feel like a girl and sometimes I'm neither or both. It just depends on how I'm feeling that day. But I was scared to tell you, scared you would reject me, fire me from Kingsman, I don't know. It's one thing to be gay, or bisexual which I also am but to be a different gender from what people presume of you... I don't know. It's harder for people to accept. I've had to hide this part of myself for a long time. My step father was a terrible man and I didn't want to find out what he would do to me if he found out. So I hid and pretended and even after coming here, becoming an agent... Well I guess I was scared. I know you're all different from him but you're all men, comfortable with being men. I didn't know if you would understand or accept me." They sighed and rubbed at their eyes. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

"It's alright Eggsy." Harry assured them. Eggsy smiled at him.

"What I'm getting at is that I am different and with that I use different pronouns and prefixes. I would greatly appreciate it if you used they pronouns when talking about me. And Mx instead of sir or Mr. I know it's different and I won't get mad if you mess up. It took me years to get use to calling myself that. I just ask to please accept me for who I am. Thank you." They sat back down, their hands shaking. Harry squeezed their fingers.

"Thank you Galahad for confiding in us. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we want you to be happy and feel safe here in Kingsman. Thank you all for coming." He addressed the agents. Those who weren't there their feeds cut out and those who were started to stand.

Roxy came around the table to hug Eggsy. "I'm so proud of you." Percival clapped them on the back and Merlin squeezed their shoulder. Bors and Gwaine, the other two agents present, were whispering to each other at the end of the table. Eggsy swallowed thickly, hoping that they weren't taking bad about them.

"We should all go out for a drink." Percival suggested.

"I'd love to but I've got work to do." Merlin smiled at Eggsy and left.

"What about you Harry?" Eggsy asked him.

"I'd love to." Harry smiled and Eggsy beamed at him.

 

Having drinks with Harry was an experience. The last time Eggsy had a drink with Harry, he beat up five guys alone. They knew it wouldn't happen again but it was still different.

Harry and Eggsy sat side by side in a corner booth. Percival and Roxy were across from them. Eggsy already knew how much fun Roxy was when drunk and couldn't wait to see the old agents loosen up.

It was better then Eggsy could hope. The two of them talked of fun and crazy missions they had been on, often including the previous Lancelot. they smiled at Roxy and she bumped their shoulder. Eggsy couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Support me on ko-fi if you like my work!](Ko-fi.com/twinklesbrightly)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The holidays are quickly approaching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of homophobia and transphobia in this chapter.

Things were finally good at Kingsman. Eggsy didn't have to hide who they were. They still wore suits to work since that was what the agents wore but Eggsy didn't mind. They were happy and at ease.

Everyone used the right pronouns and if they messed up, they caught themselves. Except Bors and Gwaine. Eggsy never really talked to them, hadn't had any missions with them. Bors was around Harry's age and they knew he came from a rich, uptight family. He was a Christian and Eggsy had heard whispers of Bors having problems with Harry but they didn't know why. Since Eggsy came out to the agents, Bors had stopped saying hello to them when they crossed paths. Before, he had always been polite though distant. Eggsy just figured that was how he was but now...

And Gwaine. Eggsy had always known him as a funny guy, always cracking jokes and telling compelling stories. He was always kind to Eggsy before but now he was cold and never talked to them. Around everyone else Gwaine was friendly except Eggsy.

It made them nervous really. It was clear after the first few weeks since his coming out that they didn't agree with it. Bors and Gwaine were like Dean, just less violent when expressing their thoughts. Eggsy started to avoid them, hoping they'd just leave them alone. They didn't get their wish.

Eggsy was in the gym, sparring with Roxy during some downtime. They wore wearing a t-shirt and trackies, just like Roxy. She aimed a kick to their head and Eggsy blocked it. Roxy grinned and kicked out their legs, making Eggsy crash to the mat. "Ow." She smiled and helped them to their feet.

"Sorry." She brushed off imagined dirt from their clothes.

"S'fine." They smiled at her and they took off their sparring gloves, going over to the bench. Eggsy sat and gulped down water. Bors and Gwaine came in then, intending to use the gym. Bors saw Eggsy chatting with Roxy and made a noise that drew both of their attention.

"Let's come back later Gwaine."

"We're done if you wanted the mat." Eggsy offered.

"Hm, no. I'd rather not touch something you've touched." Bors replied. Eggsy was taken aback.

"What did you just say?" Roxy stood, stalking towards them.

"You heard. He's a freak and I don't want to be around him."

"They, Eggsy goes by they."

"He's a guy."

"They're not!" Eggsy had run over to grab Roxy. She was about to deck Bors.

"Rox, Rox! Leave it, it's fine."

"No it's not! They're bigots."

"Yes they are but I don't want you to get into trouble. Let it go." Bors and Gwaine were smirking.

"Yes, reign in your little girlfriend, freak." Eggsy gritted their teeth. Bors and Gwaine left and Eggsy let go of Roxy.

"You should have let me hit him."

"Then you'd be suspended. I need you here, Rox." She looked at them and saw the sad expression on their face.

"Eggsy-"

"Don't, I'm fine." they went to get their stuff and left to shower and change. While Eggsy stood in the shower, they couldn't help but think they were a freak. Who actually felt like neither and both genders? They scrubbed at their skin and tried not to think about what Bors had said. Freak. Freak. Freak.

 

Harry had known Bors was a bigot since he found out Harry was gay. Harry didn't care though, he was thick skinned. His father had been tough on him so Harry knew how to deal with people like Bors. What he didn't know was that Eggsy didn't. So when he walked into the locker room to change and he heard sobbing, curiosity got the better of him. He slowly followed the noise to one of the shower stalls. Eggsy was sitting on the floor crying as the water beat down on them. "Eggsy? What's wrong, are you hurt?" Eggsy suddenly stopped and looked up at Harry. They quickly stood and turned off the water. Harry looked away to give them privacy as they wrapped a towel around their hips.

"I'm fine Harry." They stepped around him and headed to their locker.

"Eggsy, you know you can talk to me... right?"

"There's nothing to talk about." They dried off and got dressed, a row of lockers blocking them from Harry's view.

"Did something happen in the gym?" Eggsy didn't answer. "Does it have something to do with Bors?" Eggsy appeared around the corner, his t-shirt in his hands. "He's the biggest bigot in Kingsman. I'd fire him if he wasn't such a good agent. But unfortunately I can't afford to do that. I'm sorry for whatever he might have said."

"He called me a freak. No one ever knew before so I never-" They sighed deeply and Harry placed his hand on their shoulder.

"My dear b- one, I swear he'll never call you that again." Eggsy smiled. Not just because of what Harry promised but because he caught himself before calling them 'boy'. He really did care.

"Thanks Harry."

"Of course." He smiled as Eggsy left.

Harry called for Bors later that day. "You wanted to see me sir?"

"Have a seat." Bors sat in front of Harry's desk. "It has been brought to my attention that you have a problem with Agent Galahad."

Bors huffed. "So what? He's-"

"They. They have every right to feel safe here. I promised them that. You will keep your opinions to yourself and treated them with the same respect you'd treat anyone else. Even me." Harry narrowed his eyes. "Do I make myself clear, Agent Bors?" Harry was using his Arthur voice. Bors nodded but said nothing. "Good, you're dismissed." He hoped that would be the end of it.

And it was. Bors stopped speaking to Eggsy unless he had to. Most he just glared at them which they were fine with, a glare of easier to ignore then hurtful words.

Things calmed down. Eggsy went on missions like before, nothing changed. They were comfortable at home when they had days off or were recovering. Eggsy hung out with Ryan and Jamal still when they could. When they came out to them, they said they already knew. They weren't surprised when Eggsy showed up in an oversized jumper, a denim skirt and leggings. That made Eggsy feel ten time better, they were their best and longest mates. To have them not understand of accept them would have been the worst.

Fall turned into winter and soon it was the annual Christmas party. Eggsy had gone last year but that had been when he wasn't out or ready to start expressing themselves. This year would be different though.

They went shopping with Michelle to find the perfect outfit. Eggsy was nervous, known they should just wear a suit with a festive tie and be done with it but Michelle said no. They didn't have to be afraid anymore.

Then it was time for the party. Michelle helped Eggsy get ready then they met up with Roxy at the shop to take the bullet train to HQ. Roxy was wearing a long red dress that she looked so beautiful in. They arrived and headed upstairs to the large dining room of the mansion. It was all done up with decorations and there was food and drink. Harry met them at the door as someone helped them with their coats. "Eggsy, Roxy, I'm so glad you could make it." He was wearing a festive tie with a snowman on it.

Roxy took off her coat. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Harry."

"You look lovely as always." HE smiled at her and she went over to Merlin who looked grumpy in an ugly Christmas jumper. Eggsy had their back to Harry as they took off their coat. They turned to face Harry. They were wearing makeup and Michelle had done their hair. Their dress a long sleeved, dark purple lace over a white, short full skirt. They were even wearing cream heels.

Eggsy looked at Harry. "I hope this is alright."

"You look beautiful, Eggsy." Eggsy smiled. Harry offered his arm and Eggsy took it, letting Harry walk them around the room.

People didn't realize it was Eggsy at first, just Harry's pretty date. Bors nearly had a heart attack and that made Eggsy happy. Harry handed them a flute of champagne and Eggsy sipped at it. Everyone commented on how nice they looked.

After a while Eggsy needed some air so they slipped outside onto the porch. They shivered slightly in the cold. Harry came out a moment later. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" Eggsy looked over at him. "Are you having fun?"

"I am, more then I have in a long time."

"I'm glad." Harry stepped closer and Eggsy turned towards him. "I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you all night."

"Harry..." Eggsy breathed, a shivering running up their spine. It had nothing to do with the cold. They glanced up and saw mistletoe. "Mistletoe." Harry looked up at well.

"Then I suppose we should kiss. It's tradition." Eggsy nodded, their voice gone. Harry moved in closer and placed a hand on the small of Eggsy's back, drawing them in. Eggsy took a step forward, their chests pressing together and Eggsy's hands coming to rest on Harry's broad shoulders for support. Eggsy looked up at him and Harry smiled. "I've wanted to kiss you for a very long time." Eggsy's lips parted in surprised and Harry took that moment to lean in and kiss them softly.

It was perfect. From the way they were pressed together to how gently Harry kissed them. After a moment they parted to catch their breath. "Wow." Eggsy licked their lips and saw that some of their pink lipstick had gotten on Harry's lips. they reached up to rub it away with their thumb and Harry turned, kissing their palm. He still had them pressed close and Eggsy was sure he could feel hod hard their heart was beating.

"I take it you feel similarly to how I do?" Eggsy nodded. "Good, then I can kiss you again." Eggsy grinned as Harry leaned in to kiss them again. This time, Harry backed them up until they hit the railing. He pressed into them more and Eggsy could feel the line of Harry's cock against their hip, even through the layers of their dress. They gasped and Harry pushed his tongue into their mouth. Eggsy kissed him back eagerly, their arms wrapping around his shoulders.

Someone cleared their throat behind them and Harry pulled away, looking to see Merlin. "Sorry to interrupt," He smirked, "But I need to speak to Harry."

"Of course." Harry stepped away from Eggsy and fixed his suit while Eggsy fixed their dress.

"I'll just... go inside then." They hurried passed Merlin, blushing. Eggsy grabbed a glass of champagne and Roxy walked over.

"You were gone a while." she was smirking.

"Shut up." But Eggsy couldn't help their smiled. "Rox, Harry kissed me."

"Like on the cheek or on the lips?"

"Lips. There was mistletoe..." they explained what happened. "It was the most erotic kiss I have ever experienced."

"Good for you mate! You going home with him?"

"I don't know, Merlin walked in on us. I'll ask him later."

Harry found Eggsy later and kissed their cheek. "I'm sorry Eggsy but something came up. I have to go."

"It's okay, work comes first."

"Unfortunately yes. I'll see you tomorrow though." He smiled softly and kissed Eggsy before walking away.

"Damn that sucks." Roxy finished her drink.

"It's alright." Eggsy sighed softly and finished their drink too. Harry came back. "Harry?"

"I almost forgot to give you this." He handed them a small box. It was flat and square. "Don't open it until you're alone." He smirked and left.

Eggsy got home later. Michelle was still up watching TV. Eggsy went upstairs to change out of their dress and take off their makeup. Once they were in trackies and a jumper, they sat on the bed to open Harry's gift.

It was wrapped in red paper with a gold ribbon. Inside was two objects. The first was a silver bracelet. It was a ring of metal that overlapped some and had a few charms on it. There was a gun, heels, a flower and the Kingsman K. He smiled and slipped it on.

The second thing was wrapped in white tissue paper. They unwrapped it and it rolled onto the bed. He stared at it. It was a red glass butt plug. He picked it up. It was well made and heavy. The top of teardrop shaped with a flat base. They bit their lip and put it back in the box, stuffing it in the drawer of the bedside table.

They went back downstairs and drank eggnog with Michelle for the rest of the night and they told her about kissing Harry. She commented on him being too old but she was happy for them. The next morning was crazy. Daisy had gotten a lot of new clothes and toys. Eggsy had gotten Michelle a necklace and perfume. She had gotten them a new floral print tie and some makeup they had asked for. Eggsy kissed her and they had breakfast.

Later, Roxy came over with her gifts. She gave Daisy a doll from her favorite cartoon, Michelle expensive lotion and Eggsy advice. "I know your an adult but I just wanted you to think about the age different between you and Harry."

"Don't, Mum already gave me the speech." They were sitting on Eggsy's bed.

"Harry, Eggsy's half your age."

"I'm aware Merlin." Harry walked into his office, Merlin following them.

"I'm your friend, I'm just looking out for you."

"Thanks Rox but all we've done is kiss."

"Still, he's old enough-"

"Young enough to be your child."

"Please don't remind me Merlin." Harry rubbed at his eyes.

"I just don't want you to be unhappy when they're forty and you're sixty five." Merlin squeezed Harry's shoulders.

"Rox, I really care about him."

"I just don't want you to be unhappy when he's an old man and you're stuck taking care of him."

"I won't be."

"Harry, let them go before it gets bad. Let them explore their sex life with other people. We live in a time where Eggsy's gender is more accepted. I still remember watching you be miserable when you couldn't be yourself."

"You mean when being gay was illegal?" Harry gave him a look and Merlin sighed.

"Yes that. You were so unhappy."

"I've been with plenty of people Roxy, I know what I want and I want Harry."

"Alright alright. I give up. Come on." They headed back downstairs.

"Merlin, I'm in love with them. I can't help it but I won't let them go." Harry sat at his desk and Merlin sighed.

 

It was a working holiday for the Kingsman agents. Eggsy had a mission that lasted from Monday to Wednesday. They were exhausted and slept for most of Thursday. Eggsy didn't sleep all day though because Kingsman was having a New Years party and they wanted to go.

They wore a black suit with a waistcoat and a gold tie. Eggsy felt very dapper. They met Roxy there who was wearing a gold cocktail dress. "You look beautiful." Eggsy said, smiling.

"Thank you, you look like sex on two legs."

"Thank you for the gender neutral compliment." Eggsy chuckled and Roxy grinned. They took the bullet train to the mansion and walked upstairs like last week. The room was decorated in black, gold, and silver. Eggsy smiled and went to the bar to get a drink.

Unlike last week when it had just been the UK branch at the party, this one had people from different branches. Harry was busy entertaining all of them. He passed Eggsy and kissed them briefly. This had been all they've done since the Christmas party. Fleeting kisses as they passed in the hall.

Harry wished he could just spend all night with Eggsy. They looked amazing in their suit. But instead he had to run around, trying to keep all of their guests happy.

It wasn't until 11:45 that Harry was able to get away. HE found Eggsy with Roxy. They were giggling about something. Harry smiled and placed his hand on the small of Eggsy's back. They looked u pat them and smiled. "Hey."

"Hello my dear." He leaned down to kiss them but Eggsy pulled away. "What is it?"

"We haven't properly kissed since Christmas."

"I'm well aware."

"And midnight is fifteen minutes away."

"Yes."

"So I think we should wait." Eggsy smirked and Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Have I told you how wonderful you look?"

"No luck, you're waiting." Harry actually groaned and Eggsy just smirked more. they looked at roxy who was smirking and sipping at her drink. "Who are you going to kiss Rox?"

"No one, I don't kiss men." Eggsy looked at her for their brows furrowed until it dawn on them. "Yes Eggsy, I'm a lesbian."

"Well I'm sure Amelia can help you with that." Harry said. Roxy's eyebrows shot up and she looked around. "She's over there." Eggsy chuckled as Rabsenceoxy hurried off.

"So why aren't you entertaining our guests anymore?"

"They're far too drunk to notice my absence. Or care for that matter." Eggsy chuckled. "Have you been enjoying yourself?"

"Yep! I'm pleasantly tipsy." Eggsy leaned into Harry. He tried to kissed them but Eggsy leaned back. 

"I'm glad to here that. I might have to catch up with you." Eggsy grabbed a drink from a server and handed it to him. "Thank you my dear."

"Thank you for the Christmas gift."

"You're welcome."

"I really like the bracelet." They held up their arm to jingle it.

"And the other gift?"

"Oh, I'm wearing that too." Eggsy smirked. Harry smiled wide, his eyes dark. He looked at his watch.

"Two more minutes." He smiled down at them.

"What's your new year's resolution?" Eggsy asked.

"To not waste my time with worrying. To just ask the question or to do the thing I want to do."

"Or do the person you want to do?" Eggsy asked, grinning.

"Perhaps." Harry looked at his watch. "One minute. We should counting soon so everyone can join." Eggsy nodded but Harry didn't see, he was watching his watch. "twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven..." Eggsy joined and soon those around them were counting as well. "twenty, nineteen, eighteen..." Harry stepped closer to Eggsy. "fifteen..." Eggsy leaned in until their chest were touching. "twelve, eleven, ten..." Everything melted away and there was only the two of them. "Seven, six..." Eggsy was vaguely aware of Roxy across the room. She whispered something to Amelia and she grinned. "Five, four..." Merlin was drunkenly leaning into a woman from tech, both of them grinning as they counted. "Three, two..." Harry cupped Eggsy's face, their lips dangerously close to touching. Harry was lost in Eggsy's eyes and Eggsy was staring at Harry's mouth. Their eyes met and everything seemed to stand still.

"One."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy's Dress - http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1VGtxHVXXXXb1XVXXq6xXFXXXH/Wholesale-New-Fashion-Crew-Neck-font-b-Long-b-font-font-b-Sleeve-b-font-Short.jpg  
> Roxy's Dress - http://ohhmymy.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Red-Party-Dresses.jpg  
> Harry's Tie - http://aberstudentmedia.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/snowman-xmas-tree-gold-stars-navy-blue-novelty-silk-christmas-tie-p5730-12405_zoom-300x300.jpg  
> Merlin's sweater - http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/clever-ugly-christmas-sweaters-21__605.jpg


	3. Update

Hello Readers!

I know a lot of you must be waiting for an update on this fic but sadly there won't be one. I wrote this was a suddenly got back into the Kingsman fandom. It indulged my genderfluid exploration of myself at the time and I truly loved writing this story. Unfortunately, I quickly lost interest in it and the fandom. I still love the movie but I'm not as deep in the fandom as I was when I wrote this.

I wanted to thank all of you for reading this and leaving kudos, it means a lot to me. The two chapters you have is it. It was going to write the sex scene in the next chapter but since I lost interest so quickly, it's not going to happen.

Basically what happened next was the Hartwin sex scene and then possibly more exploration for Eggsy and discrimination from others.

Anyway, thank you again for reading my story.

NeonDreams

**Author's Note:**

> [Support me on ko-fi if you like my work!](Ko-fi.com/twinklesbrightly)


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